I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
