1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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