Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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