awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
