PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
