READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
