i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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