If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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