Non-Jews are for practice
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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