i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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