im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
