So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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