just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
