Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
