Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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