Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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