I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
