oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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