Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
