I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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