oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
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