found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
