Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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