All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
false alarm. still invincible.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
