Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
