It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
