I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
