I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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