You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
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