I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
