Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
