is your mom at the bar?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
