What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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