I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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