She said her name was "party"
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
