I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
