I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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