so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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