My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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