allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
