I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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