i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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