Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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