You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
