i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
