just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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