Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
my poor anus
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
