You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Dignity is for republicans.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
