she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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