Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
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