the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
