birth control should be required to get into college
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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